Identifying the evils in our lives

I've spent some time these past few weeks analyzing and possibly overanalyzing
certain elements in my life. It really isn't until you look back on things after
a long period of time or avoidance that you really see them in a honest light.

How can we get beyond what people tell us and recognize for ourselfs what is
really happening to us or around us? How do we see through the bull shit?
Is it actually possible.

I believe it is to some extent. I'm starting to see things that I went through
or used to do and say "oh my god, what was I thinking?!"
I then swear to never make that mistake again, but how do I do that exactly.
What is the best method for actually identifying the poisons in our life
with out the bias that sway our hearts.
This is more of an actual question than a header...

Its like looking back at picture from before you lost weight or when you
wore a really dreadful dress to a party and wonder why your friends lied
to you and told you that you looked great. Maybe they felt that you made
them look a whole lot better or they were drunk, who knows.

But my goal in the coming days is to attempt with all my power to avoid
these pitfalls and objectively view all my situations.
I cannot fall back into the horrible cycles of what I once did.
I've got to break out and make some changes. Huzzah indeed my friends.

Beginning and the Russians

I'm posting my first 'blog' here, this is a big moment. The first is always uncomfortable.
Like trying to write an essay, you have all the ideas and strings of sentences bashing about in your head, but writing that very first sentence is always the hardest part.
The first kiss is always the hardest, no one ever knows who should reach for it.

But I'm working beyond my beginning, you see?
I was planning on writing my first blog about my new planned commitment to patience, but...
Something much more entertaining occurred.

Quite often I find myself in odd predicaments, mainly due to my own inability to tell people off,
Reject their company, or simply give a straightforward 'no'.
But today I was thrust into this situation without any control. It is certainly a new occurrence
to add to my list of bizarre happenings.

A couple days ago my friend handed off my phone number to an old buddy of hers that had
just gotten back into town. Her phone was off for an indefinate amount of time and he had
not gotten his new house number yet, so apparently the most obvious thing for her to do
was give him my number to contact her.

He ended up calling me when he needed to contact her and I passed on her number--
Fine. Okay. I assumed that I was done with the situation, nothing to it... right?
Apparently not. I forgot that when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.

So as I was cat napping this afternoon after work, I got a phone call from an unfamiliar number.
When he had first called I had been expecting it. I was chillin with my buddy and whatnot...
But at this point in the story, I am quite asleep and answer the phone to a very excited
guy, whose voice I do not recognize, shouting my name.

"um... Hello?"
"Gwen! Hello!"
"Hi...."
"Hows it going?"
"Who is this?..." groggy groggy grumble
"Sergi!" shouts the energetic russian accent.
"Oh. Sergi. "

The conversation continues... Into utter nonsense!
He asks my weight... 135...
"wow! I'm 180!"
"ha ha... okay..."
"Thats perfect. You must be like a coca cola bottle!"
"What?"
"Curves in all the right places!"

Let me reiterate that I have never met this person!
It goes on and on. He wants me to drive out to Sea View, which is at least a two-hour drive.
Oh hell no. "But you sound so sexy on the phone and I want to meet you."
This guy was coming on stronger than 151.
Still I was playfully able to get rid of the guy, or so I thought.

I go to take a shower before work and when I get out I see three missed calls from him!
Holy Hell! I'm so not calling back, so instead I call my buddy who knows him and she's at work- leave a message.
I go to work and before I'm about to open the building for the movie I check my cell... two more missed calls from Sergi.
So I call him to tell him to stop calling me and he strikes up a new conversation, trying to get me to come over to his
place after I get off work. I at least convince him that me and my buddy will set something up later in the week.
"At least now I've made your job easier." He tells me.
"What do you mean." confusled.
"You won't be thinking about work, you'll be thinking 'who is this sexy man? Who is this sexy russian man on the phone?'"
"Okay... ha ha.. yeah thats what I'll be thinking about alright."
yes yes niceties and I hang up. Dude. Suck my sarcasm.

Three more calls within the next two days and he won't respond to my buddy.
Some of my other friends are convinced that I should go out there myself, my mom thinks I should play tour guide
and show them around the island. Oh jesus. I think meeting new people would be fun, but not driving that far to
do who knows what with a huge group of strange russian men. By myself. Ha ha.
Entertaining to the last.
So my buddy and I were supposed to chill with them this afternoon, but I think its off because of the drive and
their vanity. Oh well.

I need to start formulating my next post which is very romantic I must say. Shucks.